Thoughts – Page 3 – Jonathan K. Benton

A piece on laughter and my two ‘all-time’ favourite jokes – Jonathan K Benton

Catch 22 is one of my favourite books. It’s also one of the funniest books I’ve ever read. Colours and shades, tears and laughter. The saddest stories have the funniest scenes, as the author takes you on an emotional roller coaster.

Laughter saves lives – just ask the Clown Doctors. It pierces bubbles of sadness. It can also lift you up after hard times. Trust me, I know. I love getting the giggles, especially with my brother and sister. We think alike, you see. A simple look can summon uncontrollable laughter.

Laughter brings a sense of perspective to this crazy world. War might not exist if everybody could laugh just a little bit more. This Monty Python skit sums it up perfectly.

Sometimes laughing will be the last thing on your mind, but never forget how to, and try not to take yourself too seriously.

My two favourite jokes.

My cousin told me this ‘knock knock’ joke when I was five years old:

– Knock knock

– Who’s there?

– Bumblebee

– Bumblebee who?

– Bumblebee cold if you don’t pull your pants up.

The next joke was voted the second funniest of all time by a panel of experts. It’s my favourite:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said: “and what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”

And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

***

Let me know your favourite jokes, and please keep them clean.

Jonathan K Benton

Politics – it's a touchy subject. Jonathan K Benton

The recent pay rises given to Queensland MPs is disgraceful. This is not an article about left/right politics. All sides of the political spectrum in Australia have, at one time or another, proven themselves inept. It’s easy for the opposition to declare that they’ll donate the increased portion of their salaries – until I see evidence that this is consistently happening then, to me, it’s just a political stunt.

Politicians are meant to serve the people. They are supposed to have strong wholesome ideals and an unwavering ability to do what’s right. Whatever way I look at it, and whatever side of the political spectrum my leanings might be, the pay rise ‘handed down by the independent commission’ (the pollies keep repeating this, as though it’s some sort of defence) is wrong. Cost of living is sky rocketing – good people who work long hours might not even receive a rise this year. The Queensland Government have made a bunch of people redundant in the name of saving money, and those public servants who managed to keep their jobs will be lucky to receive a 2 per cent pay rise.

Premier Newman’s 22 per cent pay rise (or 68k) is enough to put one more police officer on the street or another teacher in an overcrowded school. Surely he can live on his previous salary of 311k plus perks. Some might argue that we need to pay our politicians top dollar to attract the best. Politicians are already paid well, and I would like to believe most of them enter politics to make a difference. Or is money their only true motivator? If it is, we’re lost.

Writing tip – Show don’t tell.

Politicians need to learn this one too – in a different way. ‘Show don’t tell’ is writing 101. I found this link because I’m strapped for time. Read it and be reminded. Telling is okay, by the way. Sometimes it’s necessary to maintain pace. Just don’t ‘tell’ the important parts.

A Tale of Two Presidents – Jonathan K Benton

A Tale of Two Presidents

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of life-saving medical advancement, it was the age of life-taking weapons of mass destruction; it was the spring of freedom of choice, it was the winter of poverty and oppression. It was the weekend when a group of kids got together to celebrate my boy’s fifth birthday, it was the weekend when Vladimir Putin called Barack Obama to discuss World War Three.

You, me, us. We need to stop the shit so that every child on this planet can enjoy every birthday to a ripe old age.

Jonathan K Benton

Please note: Charles Dickens’s brilliant first paragraph in A Tale of Two Cities (read it here) kicks all other opening paragraphs out of the literary ball park. His words are as a relevant today as they were 200 hundred years ago.

Sometimes it's important not to write – and my thought for the week. Jonathan K Benton

Writing tip:

Yesterday was one of my most productive days yet, and I didn’t write a single word. I sat in a café with two extremely talented individuals discussing our respective manuscripts. Discussing ideas is important – I now have a fresh and exciting twist on a new demon world. One of my main protagonists has been dressed appropriately, taking into account her personality, and her needs. Parts of the dialogue will be strengthened too. A fresh set of eyes and a different perspective – these things are invaluable when writing a manuscript. Don’t be too precious about your work. Share ideas and the manuscript will grow.

Thought for the week:

This is worrying. Click here. Many theories are disproven. Some theories become fact. Population is a problem. We don’t yet have the technology to support our burgeoning numbers. I believe we’ll work something out. We’ve proven ourselves to be remarkably resourceful, as the astronauts of Apollo 13 showed on their dramatic return to Earth. The fact they left Earth at all earns us a gold star in ingenuity. Let’s not wait until we’re forced to save ourselves, though. Let’s do something about it now.

Jonathan K Benton

The secret to being 'cool', for five minutes and ten seconds

I was sitting at the computer thinking about the past – as long as I don’t dwell on it, the past is a great place from which to draw inspiration. I suddenly remembered a song a friend introduced me to a long time ago. I’ve never been cool (although I try my best to convince my boys otherwise). People would question my sanity if I wore Pharrell Williams’s Grammy hat. Look at me, and I blush. Speak to me, and I jump. I possess very little fashion sense and own a mobile phone so old people often mistake it for a baby’s toy. But while I sat listening to this song, and no matter how uncool I am in reality, I felt damn cool.

Sit back, close your eyes, click on this link and enjoy five minutes and ten seconds of sleepy coolness.

Jonathan K Benton

Writing tip no. 3 and my thoughts on New Zealand

Writing tip

This one is subjective, but I hear it lot, and it works for me. Don’t edit the first draft until you’ve finished it. Write your story from beginning to end – smash it out. Don’t worry about sentence structure and beautiful images. These things can be polished into the novel at a later date. If you get bogged down, write some ‘he did’ ‘she did’ sentences to move your mind out of the mental quagmire. Then continue with the story. Flesh out the gaps on subsequent drafts. As I said, it works for me.

Thought for the week

I spent three weeks in New Zealand last year. My father and his partner have a bach at Matarangi on the Coromandel Peninsula. Kiwis refer to their holiday homes as baches. Matarangi is the type of place where you can play cricket on the road or sit on the long white surf beach believing you’re it – that there’s nobody else on the planet. I can’t remember seeing more than four people at a time on the pearly Matarangi sands. Then I took my family back to Auckland stopping at several boutique cafes serving top shelf cuisine and superior coffee. My mum lives in Tindalls Bay. This idyllic seaside suburb boasts a beach protected from the ocean swells and therefore perfect for my firstborn boy (No. 2 was just a twinkle in his parents’ eyes at the time).

I am a Kiwi living in Australia. My partner is an Aussie, our sons wear the green and gold too. I’m outnumbered three to one in my household. I love Australia – it is my home and I consider it a privilege to be able to live here. But I was filled with pride when I returned to New Zealand. The Land of the Long White Cloud is one of the most beautiful spots on Earth. If you haven’t been, you’re missing out.

Jonathan K Benton

Writing tip No. 2 and my thoughts for the week

Messy writing

Two weeks ago I enjoyed another exhausting day pouring through my half-finished manuscript with Joelene, the talented young woman helping me with my writing. I also had the pleasure of reading some of her own exciting work. She mentioned the term ‘messy writing’. I think it’s something all writers should know about. Messy writing makes the story believable. It’s the character driving the plot, rather than the protagonist being dragged along by a series of set pieces.

Example 1:

Example 2:

Barry loved taking his dog, Boof, for a walk. Boof needed a leash because he loved chasing other dogs. He liked chasing humans too. Then the leash broke forcing Barry to drive to the local pet shop. The pet shop had sold out. The owner suggested that Barry should make the trip to Sid’s Pet Bizarre in the next borough. Frustrated that the pet shop had sold out of leashes, and knowing that a drive to the next borough would swallow a large part of his day, Barry decided to ask his beautiful neighbour, Karen, if she had a spare leash. Karen loved dogs – she owned two huskies. Perhaps they could walk their dogs together.

In example two, Barry took matters into his own hand. He didn’t do what the pet shop owner suggested. He used his initiative. This opened up opportunity. Let’s hope Barry and Karen fell in love and lived happily ever after, until the end of time!

Messy writing takes the story in unexpected directions driven by the choices made by the protagonist. The protagonist’s personality should be considered when making these choices.

Thoughts for the week:

Ukraine. I still believe that most people want to live peacefully. Click here. Sometimes, however, it seems like humanity is self-destructing. Is it just the media, or are world leaders sabre rattling rather than throwing their collective wisdom into helping the citizens of Ukraine achieve a peaceful resolution? I’m sick of bullies – the people of Ukraine are suffering.

Roger Federer. Federer won the Dubai Duty Free Tennis Championships last night. Check out this gorgeous Federeresque (surely this word deserves a place in the dictionary) drop shot. He makes it look so easy. Click here.

Thoughts for the week – a little jewel on writing too

Writing

Authors will likely stumble upon the phrase ‘unpacking a sentence’. I did recently. Writing can be arduous. A lot of thought goes into a story. It’s easy to grow careless and write a sentence that ‘tells’ the reader something but doesn’t ‘show’ them much. I found this article that outlines how to unpack and transform dull, but necessary, text. If the text isn’t necessary, delete it. Click here.

Climate change

Global warming. We all know about it: ‘Ninety-seven percent of climate scientists agree that climate-warming trends over the past century are very likely due to human activities,¹and most of the leading scientific organizations worldwide have issued public statements endorsing this position’. This information is provided by NASA. Click here.

Some climate sceptics may hang onto the words ‘very likely’. They might say it doesn’t mean definitely. In fact they could somehow interpret these statistics to mean ‘definitely not’. If I went to 100 doctors, and after a rigorous physical examination 97 % of them agreed that I needed to take action or my health would deteriorate rapidly, I would take their advice. To use this analogy, some climate sceptics wouldn’t. Good luck to them.

Current Events that I found interesting

Rather than calling someone a ‘drug kingpin’, I prefer the term drug dealer. Let’s not rank the filthy scumbags. They’re all the same. Click here.

I love this article – perhaps humanity is truly beginning to realise that beauty definitely isn’t skin deep. The younger generation frequently nudges evolutionary changes in perception in the right direction. Well done, young’uns. You’ve got my vote. Click here.

Love – is it science, sex (just to spice up the title) or something else?

I watched About Time on Valentine’s day. Rachel McAdam’s is the Queen of romantic comedy. It’s not as good as Love Actually, although I liked the time travel thing. The movie got me thinking. It’s logical to assume love is a chemical reaction, a biological process that science can take all the credit for. Biblically ‘God is love’. If you’re not convinced there’s a divine being, perhaps you’re inclined to believe there’s a chubby little cherub flying around with a bow and arrow. Some people think love is a deep, spiritual connection between two people. I lean towards the latter. Although I love science – I want to own a Bunsen burner because it sounds cool and I like alliteration – I want to believe that the feeling I get when I truly love someone, or something, is more than a bunch of chemicals. Nobody can change my mind on this one – I won’t even allow my brain to question my firm (and so what if it’s fanciful) belief that love is one of the few things in our universe that is truly infinite.

So there

Jonathan K Benton

Lessons Learned – if I could impart one piece of advice to first-time authors this would be it.

I am a perfectionist, in terms of my writing. Most authors probably are. This doesn’t mean we think our writing is perfect. It means we’ll never be content with the finished product. I’m constantly looking for ways to improve the craft.

I’m halfway through my second manuscript. Fate – or perhaps chance – has introduced me to a brilliant young woman. She is helping me craft my next draft (very Dr Suess – ‘craft the draft’). Based on the work we’ve been doing, I now think it’s essential to have someone to bounce ideas off through the drafting process. Joelene is somewhat of a connoisseur of young adult literature. She asks the hard questions of my work, like: Why does Laika (a principal character in my next book) behave like this when she’s in that situation? Why does Jack (the main protagonist) say this when previously he’s said that? Is there a reason this character has no friends? What’s your motive for creatures in this world doing that? Why does the main antagonist choose this weapon, when surely that weapon is far more menacing? If I cannot answer Joelene’s questions, I need to revise the text. Each word is chosen for maximum impact. Every action has to have a reason, every scene a purpose. This is why I love writing.

Descriptive writing is one of my strengths – Queensland’s largest paper, The Courier Mail, agrees with me in their fantastic review of A Wicked Kind of Dark (click here to read the full review). I love creating beautiful images and unique phrases. If you want to read a book ‘dripping with descriptive language’ look no further than here. Joelene is ensuring that my weaknesses become strengths in my next novel. Her vast knowledge of the YA market is proving invaluable.

Writing is a deeply personal thing. It is your voice that distinguishes you – nobody else’s. However, I’m discovering the very real benefits of bouncing ideas off someone well-versed in the genre I write. The text is singing. I wish I’d met Joelene earlier!

Ckick here for another useful article I found for authors about to take those first few steps:

Happy writing

Jonathan K Benton.

Stay up to date on future releases

Receive our email updates